Until my birth mother passed away on June 13, 2016; she would tell me this story over and over again trying to understand why I worked in the adoption community, at a local adoption agency in Arizona, why I valued adoptions, and why her adoption went the way it did. I am writing this part of the blog in the first person, from her perspective because I can still hear her voice, the inflections she used, the contagious laugh she had, and the volume she produced.
“I swear I didn’t know I was pregnant, during that time pea coats and those kind of loose tops were in fashion, so I was wearing regular clothes. I remember going to buy a new winter coat, and that it had to be bigger, nothing fit right. My stomach was getting bigger, yes, but I thought I was just getting fat. I craved broccoli and chocolate dipped cherries all the time. I ran with the greaser crowd, my sister and I both did. Right before Christmas, my mom took me to the doctor to find out why my stomach was so big. The doctor lifted my blouse and said, “Ma’am, your daughter is about to have a baby any day now.” Swear to God, my mother passed out, right there at that very moment. I started begging the doctor to tell her that I hadn’t had sex and it must have happened another way, that she would kill me! My mother came to, and she and the doctor went into another room, spoke together and came back and informed me I would be giving up the baby for adoption. The doctor said he knew of an attorney and would contact him. It was December 1972, I had just turned sixteen years old, and my baby would be born three weeks later.”
Adoption is Your Choice
Adoption should always be a choice, one that is made by the birth mother, not one that is made on the birth mother’s behalf. Choosing adoption is a beautiful choice and an amazing selfless sacrifice. You are in control of your body; your baby and adoption is YOUR choice. Making an adoption plan is an amazing way to maintain control over how you want your adoption to play out. An open adoption is an option that was not common in 1972/1973. A local adoption agency that can emotionally, mentally, and financially assist you throughout and after your pregnancy is more personal than a few meetings with an attorney.
There is unplanned pregnancy help in adoption which is the best alternative to abortion. A local adoption agency can assist you in placing your baby for adoption in a loving and supportive way. This was very different from the way adoptions occurred in 1973. Giving my biological grandmother full credit, she was a single mother at the time, and my biological mother was the third youngest of nine children. My grandmother worked full time outside the home and had her hands full. Her choice of adoption turned out to be an amazing and beautiful choice for me. The biggest and the only regret I have about my adoption story is the way my mother was treated during the adoption process and after. She received no emotional, mental or financial support, there were no adoption aftercare services, and she was to keep my birth and adoption a secret.
The Donna K. Evans Foundation
The lack of support negatively affected her then and throughout the rest of her life. This is the reason that our local adoption agency in Arizona developed an adoption aftercare program in honor of my late biological mother. It is named the Donna K. Evans Foundation. We want women to have the support and assistance they need after they place their baby for adoption, to know that there is hope and promise for them as well. Making an Arizona adoption plan with us here at Building Arizona Families, you WILL receive the support you need. There is financial assistance available. We are a local adoption agency in Arizona. Feel free to reach out to us 24/7/365!
Call or Text us today at (623) 695-4112.