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Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode #44 – Love & Loss in Adoption Reunification, Part 1

The heart of a birth mother is like no other – it’s loving another human enough to put aside your wants and needs to provide a great life for your child. The love you have for your child never lessens or is replaced; it just continues to grow forever. We understand because some of the people working at Building Arizona Families were adopted, others have adopted children, and some have placed babies for adoption. We all believe in you and your courageous choice as you chose to create an Arizona adoption plan.

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Our agency is unique in many ways. We have a food pantry and a maternity closet accessible to our birth mothers during their Arizona adoption plan. We also assist our birth mothers with locating and using available state resources. We have been helping Arizona birth mothers who need financial help and emotional support with placing a baby for adoption in Arizona for over a decade, and will make sure you have the help you need.

You are not alone. We are here to help you. Call or text anytime to speak to an adoption specialist – (623) 695-4112.

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode #44 – Love & Loss in Adoption Reunification, Part 1

Visit us HERE to listen to Episode #44 of our podcast Birth Mother Matters. Read the transcript to our Podcast Episode #44 below-

Ron Reigns:
Welcome. And thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption with Kelly Rourke-Scarry and me, Ron Reigns, where we delve into the issues of adoption from every angle of the adoption triad.

Speaker 2:
Do what’s best for your kid and for yourself. Because if you can’t take care of yourself, you’re definitely not going to be able to take care of that kid and that’s not fair.

Speaker 3:
And I know that my daughter would be well taken care of with them.

Speaker 4:
Don’t have an abortion, give this child a chance.

Speaker 5:
All I could think about was needing to save my son.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My name is Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m the executive director, president, and co-founder of Building Arizona Families adoption agency, the Donna Kay Evans foundation, and creator of the You Before Me campaign. I have a bachelor’s degree in Family Studies and Human Development, and a master’s degree in education with an emphasis in school counseling. I was adopted at the age of three days, born to a teen birth mother, raised in a closed adoption, and reunited with my birth mother in 2007. I have worked in the adoption field for over 15 years.

Ron Reigns:
And I’m Ron Reigns. I’ve worked in radio since 1999. I was the co-host of two successful morning shows in Prescott, Arizona. Now I worked for my wife, who’s an adoption attorney, and I’m able to combine these two great passions and share them on this podcast.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So love and loss and adoption reunification. This I’m purely speaking from a personal perspective. I will be interjecting some professional opinions as well, if I can distance myself from it enough.

Ron Reigns:
Right. Not only because you’re the product of an adoption, but also that that’s what you do for a living.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
That’s what I do for a living.

Ron Reigns:
You Provide and you talk to people on a one-on-one basis.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah, I do.

Ron Reigns:
Good.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I’ve shared my adoption story so many times.

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And my intent and purpose is always to educate others about adoption, to normalize the abnormal and to desensitize the stigma of what adoption used to be and what people’s preconceived notions of adoption have been. Because the more we can normalize what adoption really is and take away the stigmas and the stereotypes and the preconceived notions, the more apt people are to choose adoption over abortion, and choose to create an Arizona adoption plan. And those members of the triad will hopefully be looked at as they should be, family members. Believe it or not. I am an incredibly private person. I have started to become more and more public and in a public setting, I’m fine. I absolutely have no issues with public speaking. I enjoy teaching and educating people on adoption.

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I never envisioned myself being this public persona.

Ron Reigns:
It just kind of developed through the career?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It has, it has.

Ron Reigns:
And through the podcast now.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It has. And I’m beyond grateful to answer questions and to share my story and open the door to the adoption world, as well as into my own adoption backyard, per se. I think sometimes it’s much easier for me to stay on the surface level when talking about adoption rather than digging deep, because nobody wants to dig deep into their own issues because that’s where it’s messy.

Ron Reigns:
I know that personally as well. Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So in thinking about this podcast, I thought, you know, I often ask other people who we’ve talked to when we interview to go deep. And is that really fair of me to ask of somebody else where I have not been willing to do myself?

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
The answers is no, that’s not fair.

Ron Reigns:
I’ve gotten to know you so much more, I mean, I knew you before the podcast ever started, but I feel like you do, you go deep with this podcast and you talk about personal issues that aren’t easy all the time. And you’ve discussed with me things about your brother, your mother, what some of these hard things were for you and I appreciate it because it is, it’s education for people listening.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It is. And that’s obviously my goal. I don’t think that my adoption story is any more special than the next person’s. I just have a platform in which to share it.

Ron Reigns:
Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And that is all I’m trying to do. So today I’m going to go where I have not gone before.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And I am going to talk about thoughts and feelings and emotions that I went through during my adoption reunification and the hopes that other people who are contemplating it, this is the right time in their life to go through an adoption reunion or whether or not this is the right action for them to take.

Ron Reigns:
That path.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right. Will listen to me and my story and it will help shed light and bring clarity to theirs. So that’s my goal.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Because I’ve been a social worker and a counselor, my whole professional career, I have trained myself in highly emotional situations to do what I call going flat. I can go into a super professional mode and take emotion out of it. So, when I’m in a very emotional situation professionally, or at work, I’m able to maintain composure. I’m able to make decisions that are not emotionally based.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I’m able to just focus on what needs to be handled at the time and not let my emotions take over decision-making and let my emotions take over myself, because I know that I have to be the one to hold everything together.

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And when you are a director and you have social workers, they can be in a position that they can emotionally be there for the client, and they can ride that rollercoaster.

Ron Reigns:
But you have to be the head of the household.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
When the director I have to be the one that’s holding up the village basically. And so, I have always referred that as going flat. I can just go flat and get through it.

Ron Reigns:
So, going flat, would that be the equivalent of compartmentalizing?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. And it also is taking emotion out of it.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Just being able to not really go there emotionally, whatsoever, and just look at it for face value, like, okay, this is the decision made-

Ron Reigns:
Look at the facts.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
-look at the facts, make a decision, move on.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I will say that that can sometimes be a detriment in the sense that when I’m looking at my own adoption issues and I’m in certain situations, I can do the same thing. And maybe even subconsciously not realize I’m doing it, but I can just go emotionless, just flat, frozen.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Because I’ve trained myself, because when I was a school counselor and I would have to make child abuse reports, I had to train myself to not take that home. I had to train myself to be able to sleep at night and not let it get the best of me because that’s very hard to do.

Ron Reigns:
On a daily basis, right?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It’s very hard to not worry about something all day everyday

Ron Reigns:
This child…

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And so I would go in my mind and I would be able to, like you said, compartmentalize it and move on. And it’s in some aspects in those situations, it’s almost like a tunnel vision, like there’s a goal in mind, you do that and you keep going. What I am trying to do in this podcast is state, “Okay. We know we’ve talked about adoption reunification. We’ve talked about the impact that it has on the adoptee, but there are…” And I refer to these as… I have my own language, if you haven’t picked up on it, “monsters in your head.”

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Three o’clock in the morning when your thoughts are racing, your mind is going a mile a minute and you can’t sleep and you can’t get something out of your head. Then those are the things that people often don’t talk about. I think that so much comes with adoption reunification that we really need to re-visit this topic today and really talk about what it looks like and what types of emotions they adoptee really goes through. I wouldn’t change my experience for anything in the world.

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My biggest regret is that I didn’t have enough time with my mother before she passed away because she did die at 59. And so, I only had those precious 10 years, but I don’t know that emotionally I would have been ready prior to the age of 34. I don’t know that I was at a place in my life that I could have understood where she was mentally and what had gone on in her life and been able to still be a wife, a mother, an employee, a friend, and a daughter to everybody else. And at the same time, be for her what she needed, because at that point, once I had found her and I’m going to back up a little bit, once I had found her, I realized that I had to put her wants and needs before mine very much like a mother would with a child.

Ron Reigns:
Certainly.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I had to do that with her because she had experienced a traumatic event with my adoption and had not received any aftercare, which is another point of why we do aftercare services.

Ron Reigns:
For the Donna K. Evans foundation named after her.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
After her.

Ron Reigns:
Yeah.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. So, she had experienced this traumatic event and because of that, she was unable to really process the aftermath of what happened and went on to make life choices that were hard for her and hard for my biological brothers and family members. And so, I think it’s important to really, in my opinion, allow myself to say, “Hey, it’s okay that you had the 10 years and I should be grateful for the 10 years.” Part of me says, “No, no, no, I want more. I want more.”

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
But knowing that I had to reach a level of maturity and I had to have enough, growing in the adoption world and in my career to be able to understand and comprehend and be the person and the daughter that she needed me to be.

Ron Reigns:
At that time.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
At that time.

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
When I met my mother in 2007, I had spent about six months prior to actually finding her. It took me about six months from the time I started to look for her to the time that I hugged her for the first time. It started off with a court. I had to file a motion with the court asking to open up my file.

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I remember when I received the motion back from the court, I remember opening it up and I on my own went flat.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It wasn’t jumping up and down. It was like an almost an autobody experience because I thought now, I’ve done it. Like…

Ron Reigns:
I’ve opened this can of worms.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. Pandora’s box.

Ron Reigns:
Yeah. Yeah.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I just opened it. And I jumped in because now that I have this information, I can’t go backwards. I can’t unhave it. And when I go forward, what is this going to look like? How is this going to impact me? How is it going to impact my children? How is it going to impact my adoptive parents? How is it going to impact my friends? What are people going to do?

Ron Reigns:
This is going to change my whole world. And everybody’s-

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah.

Ron Reigns:
-around me.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. Everything I knew is now different because I’ve done it. I’ve gone forward and I can’t undo it because at that point you can’t. Once, as an adoptee, I couldn’t anyway, I couldn’t just stop the world from spinning and say, “Okay, well now I’m not moving forward.” I remember calling the court because they had not given me my birth certificate yet. They had given me the non-identifying information and things like that. I had to submit another paper because I wasn’t an attorney and I was doing this on my own. And I remember her telling me that I think I was like one of seven out of 20 to 25 that had applied that month where my mother had gone when I was 21, she thought it was 21. Actually, it could have been as early as 18 and filled out a form that said, “I’ve never stopped looking for you. You have two brothers.” And she wrote a note on it with her phone number. It was really endearing.

Ron Reigns:
Yeah.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Excuse me. It was really endearing. It was startling too. Because when I… and I had said, I wasn’t going to hold anything back, when I read it, it was my first insight into what may or may not have happened.

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So she dropped out of school in the 10th grade and her handwriting reflected that.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And so when I saw that, I remember thinking, okay, now I have terrible handwriting. I mean, I… my handwriting is horrific and it’s not that hers was horrific, it’s not, it’s not that I would expect from somebody who’s an adult.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And so it was-

Ron Reigns:
Almost childlike.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
-an interesting insight. Yeah.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. And yet that paper is so precious to me. I have it to this day. It’s one of my most cherished things.

Ron Reigns:
Yeah.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Because it’s… Yeah. It just… It was an insight into it. So, then I filed the paper with the court to get the actual original birth certificate. And then that was mailed to me. It was a little bit of a shock that a birth father wasn’t listed, I was expecting one to be listed.

Ron Reigns:
Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It was… That was kind of like a sucker punch I think, because I thought, Hmm. Okay. And again, another insight as to… Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. At this point, as I’ve talked before, my fairy tale images are now slowly fading and yeah.

Ron Reigns:
A little at a time.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
The Castle’s just like sand. So, I remember when I read the birth certificate and I saw it and I realized she didn’t even name me. And that was another surprise. And I understand if I go into the social worker aspect and I go into the professional realm, she never saw me. So, she probably didn’t even know that she could name me. I’m sure nobody went in and discussed it with her.

Ron Reigns:
And do you think that on her part… obviously you can’t get into her head.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
No, but I can speculate on why she didn’t name me.

Ron Reigns:
Right. Do you think that maybe she didn’t name you because then it really personalizes it and again makes it-

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Possibly.

Ron Reigns:
-more real? So, she could distance herself from it a little bit, maybe, I’m just… I’m asking.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I think yes and no. I know that she had said… and we talked about this before that if I’d been born on Christmas, she would have named me Jesus.

Ron Reigns:
That’s right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So I’m not…

Ron Reigns:
Are you thankful that you didn’t go through life with the name Jesus.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Because-

Ron Reigns:
I would be too.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
-I’m not sure that that is a female name.

Ron Reigns:
No.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And for other reasons as well.

Ron Reigns:
There’s many reasons.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. There’s many reasons and, yes. So, I’m grateful. I was taken back though that she didn’t name me. So, on my birth certificate, it’s listed as baby girl Evans.

Ron Reigns:
Did it kind of hurt?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. Because again…

Ron Reigns:
You had already made a fantasy.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I did. And when adopted children from overseas come over here, one of the things that we really educate adoptive parents about is, sometimes that’s all they’ve got left. They don’t have their country anymore and they don’t have the things that mattered to them. They don’t have their biological family members, but they still have their name. And so I didn’t have a name. And so, yeah, that was a little bit of a shock.

Ron Reigns:
Is that something that’s changed more and more also with the open adoptions, do you think more birth mothers, name, their children?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I’d say the majority of birth mothers name, their children.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And…

Ron Reigns:
And back then they didn’t by and large. Or did they?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I don’t think so. Actually, you know what, I don’t have an answer for that.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I think it’s more common now to name them, but I don’t believe it was as common back then.

Ron Reigns:
Now how… with the children who are named, they do take that with them, obviously it’s on their birth certificate.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It’s on their… So, yes. So, the way that works is it’s on their original birth certificate, what their birth mother names them. And then when the adoption is finalized, a new birth certificate is issued.

Ron Reigns:
Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And at that point, the adoptive family can legally change the child’s name or not.

Ron Reigns:
To what they want it to be?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right. What I see happen a lot is… especially if there’s an open adoption and there’s a closeness between the adoptive mom and the birth mom is sometimes if it’s not a name that the adoptive mom really wanted or maybe there was a reason, a family name she wanted or something like that, they’ll often make it a middle name or something like that.

Ron Reigns:
So they’ll kind of keep part of it a little piece.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. So…

Ron Reigns:
And that would have been nice for you to have had that little piece-

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes.

Ron Reigns:
-growing up and becoming an adult.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah, it would have, it would’ve been nice to know what she would have done with it. So, I get the information, I get the birth certificate. I now have her name, I look at her date of birth and I realize… I knew she was 16 when she had me. I didn’t realize that she just turned 16 within a few months.

Ron Reigns:
So she was 15 when you were conceived?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
The majority of her pregnancy, yeah. And the vast majority of her pregnancy. And it was one of those almost paralyzing moments, I call them, where you just kind of freeze, and after I freaked out a little bit, then I started… I called a private investigator and then we had some false leads and I actually found her sister-in-law and had a co-worker of mine call because I couldn’t call. It was one of those things. I couldn’t make that one call. So, she called and it was like the stars aligned. And that sister-in-law was one of the people that didn’t know about me. So, she asked a couple of questions to kind of make sure that we were legitimate as well. And then they exchanged numbers and then the co-worker was very kind and came over to the house because I didn’t want to do it by myself. And so, she came over and she made the call with me, again, I couldn’t dial it. I couldn’t… I didn’t even know what to say. So, we had…

Ron Reigns:
Did she do any of the talking or was it you most?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Mm-hmm (affirmative) at first.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. So, what we did is, we had, and I still have this as well. We had a notebook, so she gets her on the phone and she’s writing notes as she’s talking to her initially at first and then she covers up the phone and she leans over and she says, “I think she’s black.”

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And so…

Ron Reigns:
Obviously you’re thinking-

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Did we get the right person?

Ron Reigns:
-we’ve got the wrong person.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. I’m thinking, did we get the right person? And I’m literally looking at my skin and I’m thinking, “Is it possible?” I don’t know.

Ron Reigns:
Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And so now my heart went from 150 beats a minute, now I’m over 200 because I’m thinking, “Oh my gosh, what is this?”

Ron Reigns:
Right? And this was just because of her accent and the way she was talking.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And she was probably really nervous too.

Ron Reigns:
Sure.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And so, this co-worker actually has two adopted black children. So, this wasn’t a derogatory thing at all.

Ron Reigns:
Right, no, no, no, no.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
This was just a comment and it was alarming. And then she hands me the phone and I hear her voice and I can barely understand her-

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
-because her accent was very thick. And so, there was a lot of, “What, what, what, can you say that again, please?” The first thing she said is, “You want to know why I done it, right?” And I said, “Done what?” I wasn’t… I was so nervous that I didn’t really understand what she’d done. I wasn’t putting two and two together.

Ron Reigns:
She obviously meant why she had placed you for adoption.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And I remember telling her, no, I understand why you were 16.

Ron Reigns:
16 years old.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. And she asked if I was mad at her. And I remember thinking, no, I had a great childhood. I have great adoptive parents.

Ron Reigns:
Were there ever moments throughout your life, especially as a child that you did have anger about that?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Towards her? No.

Ron Reigns:
Or just about the situation?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
No. There were moments that I wanted more information.

Ron Reigns:
Mm-hmm (affirmative) Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
There were moments that…

Ron Reigns:
It was more curiosity?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It was more curiosity.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It… and I wouldn’t have had anger because I wouldn’t have known what to be angry about.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Because I didn’t know what was on the other side. Does that make sense? So…

Ron Reigns:
Yeah. But I also think of in my life, there were many times that I had anger and didn’t have a reason for it. I didn’t have any way to justify it.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I was angry that she didn’t show up when I was 16 and gave me a car.

Ron Reigns:
Okay. Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
But no.

Ron Reigns:
You’ve handled it very well. It’s impressive.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Well, the anger wasn’t…

Ron Reigns:
It’s hard to say what I would have been like in that situation, I don’t know. I think…

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Well, again, it’s hard to be angry about something that you don’t know about.

Ron Reigns:
Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So it wasn’t…

Ron Reigns:
And then more you learned, obviously-

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I know she made a beautiful choice.

Ron Reigns:
-how could you be angry? She was 16 years old-

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right.

Ron Reigns:
-and she made a beautiful choice.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. And I knew that her mother had a lot of children and it does… looking back, I can say that I did wonder what the classic things that adopted kids worried about. Was there something wrong with me? Was there a reason that she didn’t want me, is there… Was there something about me that made her choose adoption?

Ron Reigns:
And again, obviously it wasn’t because she’d never even seen you.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Correct. But up until that moment, I didn’t know that.

Ron Reigns:
Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I didn’t know that she hadn’t seen me. I didn’t know that she had not had that time to say goodbye.

Ron Reigns:
You knew that you were adopted from birth. You didn’t have any question throughout your life. “Oh, was I two when this happened?”

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
No, I knew…

Ron Reigns:
So you knew all of that?

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I don’t remember being told. So, like I said, I must’ve been very young and I’ve always known it’s been from birth.

Ron Reigns:
Okay. I just have questions.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Absolutely ask away because our listeners probably have the same questions you do.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So I remember from that point on we talked for probably another 30 minutes and then my co-worker went home with her kids and my kids were running around and at this point I’m probably hiding in the closet with the telephone, because I mean, we must’ve talked until the middle of the night and then non-stop the next couple of days.

Ron Reigns:
Oh Wow.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I remember she emailed me a picture of her and it was… she had an above ground pool. You know, those pools that you can fill up. They’re like…

Ron Reigns:
Right.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I don’t know about-

Ron Reigns:
4 feet high.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
-6 feet…

Ron Reigns:
Yeah. Got a little ladder on the side.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Actually, yeah, 6 feet high. And so, she… It was her in one of those.

Ron Reigns:
Okay.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And I was thinking, “Man, she’s brave sending me one of her in a bathing suit.” Like that was… I mean, she was in the water. So, you only saw… And I remember looking at it thinking,… Yeah.

Ron Reigns:
I can see that.

Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. She looked enough like me… That I was like, I mean, it wasn’t a spitting image, but there were definitely similarities. I remember thinking, okay, like I still didn’t really know what I was getting into. I didn’t… I mean, she loved telling her… the story of my birth and that was really important to her.

Ron Reigns:
And this is where we’ll pick it up next time on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption with this revealing conversation between Kelly Rourke-Scarry and myself about her reunification with her birth mother. We have a pregnancy crisis hotline available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112. Or you can call our toll-free number one, (800) 340-9665. We can make an immediate appointment with you to get you to a safe place, provide food and clothing and started on creating an Arizona adoption plan or give you more information. You can check out our blogs on our website at azpregnancyhelp.com. Thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption written and produced by Kelly Rourke-Scarry and edited by me, Ron Reigns. If you enjoyed this podcast rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts and as always thanks to Grapes for letting us use their song, “I don’t know,” as our theme song, join us next time for Birth Mother Matters in Adoption for Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m Ron reigns, and we’ll see you then.

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