Ron Reigns:
Welcome. And thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption with Kelly Rourke-Scarry and me, Ron Reigns, where we delve into adoption issues from every angle of the adoption triad.
Speaker 2:
Do what’s best for your kid and yourself because if you can’t take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of that kid. And that’s not fair.
Speaker 3:
I know that my daughter would be well taken care of with them.
Speaker 4:
Don’t have an abortion. Give this child a chance.
Speaker 5:
All I could think about was needing to save my son.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My name is Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m the executive director, president, and co-founder of Building Arizona Families adoption agency, the Donna K. Evans foundation, and creator of the You Before Me campaign; I have a bachelor’s degree in family studies and human development and a master’s degree in education with an emphasis in school counseling. I was adopted at three days, born to a teen birth mother, raised in a closed adoption, and reunited with my birth mother in 2007. I have worked in the adoption field for over 15 years.
Ron Reigns:
And I’m Ron Reigns. I’ve worked in radio since 1999. I was the co-host of two successful morning shows in Prescott, Arizona. Now I work for my wife, an adoption attorney, and I can combine these two great passions and share them on this podcast.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Getting to know you, I thought after listeners that have been with us for all these months hear bits and pieces of our lives as we interject them intermittently throughout the podcast that it might be fun to take one podcast and get to know more about us on a personal level and find out what, through our lives, has influenced our opinions, our decisions, how we relate to things, where we’re coming from. So if you know where someone’s coming from, you have a better idea of where they’re going. And I think that some of the answers may surprise our listeners, and they may even surprise you and me.
Ron Reigns:
Very well could. I’ve been looking forward to this one. I think this is an excellent idea, a chance for them to get to know us. It’s a little lighter than the other stuff we’ve tackled. And so I hope everybody enjoys it.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah, I think so. And I think one thing that you and I don’t always bring up in podcasts, and I’m not even aware brought it up, is we’ve talked about me being adopted, and you have a radio history and are married to an adoption attorney. Have we ever talked about the fact that I’m married to your wife’s brother?
Ron Reigns:
I think it’s come up several times, but we haven’t gotten in-depth. So yeah, we are technically related, not by blood, but by marriage. And so, yeah. You’re my sister-in-law.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. So let’s go through some questions that I thought would be fun. And what I thought would be an excellent way to do it is we go back and forth, and you can pick the question, and then I will pick up a question. And so I’m not necessarily going to ask or answer the same questions as you, so let’s have fun with it.
Ron Reigns:
That’s fair. That’s fair. Sure. Who’s your hero? I like that one.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My hero. Harriet Tubman.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I have been fascinated with her since I was a petite girl. And whenever one of our children comes and has to do a project on somebody, our daughter, Sage, just did this past year and came to me and said, well, who should I pick? And I can’t tell you how fast I clicked on Amazon Harriet Tubman and bought the book, gave it to her, and said this. So definitely Harriet Tubman, because I think she was somebody I would like to be.
Ron Reigns:
I like it. Your turn.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
All right, we’ll start with something kind of fun. What mistake do you keep making again and again?
Ron Reigns:
Because I read through these questions last night, it was tough for me to even think of an answer. But I think the best answer I could give is not remembering names. I am horrible with names, and no matter how hard I try, I always, I just did it yesterday. I was talking to Lisa’s other sister, and I asked her what her neighbor’s name was because I had seen them out in the driveway, and then I think she said Justin, but I think I’d already forgotten. I’m not positive his name is Justin. It might be Joshua. Ah, it doesn’t matter.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Hey you, it works well.
Ron Reigns:
Right. Hey, how’s it going, buddy? Pal. Captain.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yep.
Ron Reigns:
All right. Let’s see. Let’s go to another one. Let’s see. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Oh, this is a straightforward one. A retirement fund.
Ron Reigns:
That was my exact answer. Saving money, putting money away because they say, oh, if you put away 2 cents a day for your entire life to be a billionaire, so-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right, that’s what everybody has told me my entire life. And unfortunately
I’m the type of person that likes to live in the moment. And I am not a squirrel. So
Ron Reigns:
It was probably when you were younger, like me, like, I’ll do it next month.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Tomorrow. It’s all good.
Ron Reigns:
Yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What is something that you think everybody should do once in their life?
Ron Reigns:
Oh, hmm. Once in their life. Ah, there are so many things. You could go the whole fall in love kind of thing. I think everybody should love somebody unconditionally. I don’t know because I’ve done so little in my life. I guess, okay. So my advice to somebody, like for instance, my son. I would say do something you’re passionate about. You may never make money at it. You may never succeed at it, but I did it with radio because that was something I had loved since I was a little kid, and getting into that when I was about 30, really changed my perspective on, wow, you got to seize the moment and grab something that you could miss, and you will regret later. And I think he’s done a little that; he was in a band for a while, and he’s done a little traveling and gone on a cruise with a girlfriend. And so he started to do some of that stuff, and I want him to keep doing those things and not letting them pass.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Good advice. On that note, there was an article that I just received. It was an interview with Jeff Bezos or Bezos-
Ron Reigns:
Bezos, yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Who was talking about the rules to live by? And he said one of the things is that it is worse to have regrets over what you didn’t do in life than what you did and then regret what you did. So, in other words, safely jump off the cliff.
Ron Reigns:
Right. Never trying is worse than trying and failing, for instance.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. Right. Just try the cliff, and I say that because people are like, oh no, I’m afraid to do that. And I would be too, but if it’s safe and it’s checked out, and it’s deep, and there’s no danger-
Ron Reigns:
Right. Yeah. I’ve always said I’d love to go skydiving. I don’t know if I would do it now, but I think that it would be fun. Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It terrifies me.
Ron Reigns:
What would you change about yourself if you could?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I am not the best at thinking before I talk. So my mind moves very quickly, and because it moves so quickly, sometimes I say things before thinking about how they will come out. And some people find it kind of funny alongside me, but I think I have generally said some things that were offensive or that I wished I hadn’t said that way afterward. So I would like to be able to pause and then say something. Whereas I speak, my biological mother and my biological brother do the same thing. They are who they are. There’s nothing fake or fictitious whatsoever, and they’re genuine and don’t hide anything; they’re not trying to appease somebody. They’re just answering. And I think that sometimes it, [inaudible 00:08:41] worth an extra second to ensure you phrase something correctly. And I want to make sure I would like to be able to do that better.
Ron Reigns:
That’s fair. Good answer.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. What makes you laugh the most?
Ron Reigns:
It’s a toss-up between wit, something that’s cleverly worded, or somebody who’s very witty. I love that, but I also love something that is exceptionally goofy. The thing that comes to mind would be Napoleon Dynamite, where it’s not precisely a funny movie, but it’s hilarious. So those two things get to me.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Okay.
Ron Reigns:
All right. Do you like or dislike surprises?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Dislike. I guess I have a control complex, and I don’t like not being in control. So, in other words, I’m not somebody who likes to consume a lot of alcoholic beverages, and I never experimented with drugs and stuff like that because I was not too fond of it; I wanted to ensure I was always in control of what I was doing. And so, when I’m caught off guard, it makes me feel unsafe. I wouldn’t say I like surprises.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What are three interesting facts about you?
Ron Reigns:
We’ve mentioned it on the show, but I am legally blind. And so I think that’s interesting, but also that despite being legally blind, I’ve worked my entire life since I was 18 years old at different jobs. I’ve installed the carpet. I’ve been a teacher’s aide in a particular ed class. I’ve been on the radio, which I love doing. I’ve been working in the adoption field, helping Lisa with the firm or our law firm. So I’ve always, despite that, stayed busy with things. And then let’s see the third fact. I own a members-only jacket to this day. Like this in Phoenix, you can borrow it sometime when it’s not so hot. Other than necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Diet Dr. Pepper.
Ron Reigns:
That’s an honest answer.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Simple and fast.
Ron Reigns:
That is entirely fair because, with me, it’s regular Dr. Pepper. Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What is your all time, and you have to pick one?
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Favorite movie.
Ron Reigns:
I knew you were going to do this one, and it’s so tough because I love movies, and there are different movies I like at different times. I’m going to go recent, at least for this particular time; my favorite movie and the one I can watch over and over without getting tired of is Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Oh, I’ve never seen it.
Ron Reigns:
Yeah. I love that movie. I think it’s my favorite Quentin Tarantino movie.
Ron Reigns:
All right. What is the most daring thing that you’ve ever done?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
When I was 18, one of my best friends at the time, Bobby Kesselman, a comedian who does voiceovers for some TV shows, and he and I both wanted to break into the entertainment industry. And so actually I think we were younger than that. I think we’re about 17, maybe even 16. And our parents let us miss a day of school, go up to Los Angeles, California, and be extras on a movie they were filming. And in today’s day and age, we do things very differently. But then, Bobby and I were put in his car with somebody we had no idea who it was. And they drove us up to the stage, the soundstage, and where they were filming, which was actually at an airport in Los Angeles.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And neither one of us had ever been on a set like that before. And they had us bring extra clothes because they wanted to ensure we were in clothes. We were supposed to be like people in the airport. Ever since I was nine, I have had a massive crush on John Schneider from the Dukes, one of the movie’s leading stars.
Ron Reigns:
So this was a massive blockbuster.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
No. No.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. So-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And right to VHS, let’s put it that way.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It was called Ministry of Vengeance and with Apollonia, remember from
the Prince video.
Ron Reigns:
I do remember Apollonia.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Okay. So we’re there, and it’s a long day, and I’m looking at John Schneider and they have him kind of like sectioned off from the extras. And I looked at Bobby, and I said, this is my shot. I got to go over there. And he looks at me, and he’s like, do it.
Ron Reigns:
Yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So I did. So I walked over and smiled at him, and I remember thinking, okay, I have to talk, or he’s going to think of something wrong with me. And so I said, I’m sorry. I just, I had to come over and meet you. And he puts both hands on my cheeks and says, it’s freezing here.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Isn’t it? And I think, I hope I wasn’t drooling. And I remember nodding and saying yes and then telling them how nice it was to meet him. And then I walked back over to Bobby. Bobby is now killed over laughing. And he said you’re never going to rewash your face. And I said never, but I have since. That was pretty brave. That was pretty brave because I went underneath the tape, and I went right up to the I have belted out songs with him on that radio, are we on the radio, when he used to have them and on his records and I’m telling you, I was all in.
Ron Reigns:
You were starstruck.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
There you go.
Ron Reigns:
Awesome.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What is the most annoying habit other people have?
Ron Reigns:
I generally don’t get annoyed by people. I know my mom hated when we would click our gum, as she said when we chew gum. Even that doesn’t bother me; sounds don’t bother me. I guess just rudeness. There you go. People are being rude to each other and not giving each other a little respect. All right. What question would you most like the answer to?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What question would I ask? Oh, I know the answer to this one. How we have done things like landed on the moon and done all of these fantastic things, and we don’t have a cure for the common cold.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. That’s why something so basic has alluded to us all these years.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Every time one of my children or I get sick. I asked the same question. How do we not have the cure?
Ron Reigns:
Right. Okay. Good one.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What would it be if you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life?
Ron Reigns:
Steak.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Just steak?
Ron Reigns:
Anything on the side is fine. It could be potatoes. It could be broccoli, cauliflower, whatever. I don’t have a choice on that. I’ll eat whatever side dish you’ve got. It could be tater tots. Steak and tater tots. There you go. I just, there’s my meal.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Perfect.
Ron Reigns:
What makes you laugh the most?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Sarcasm. Also, when common mistakes are made like I was that obnoxious kid in school when a teacher would be writing back then with chalk and the chocolate break, I’d be the one that would be laughing. Or when the one kid was being naughty in the classroom, we both got in trouble because I’d be laughing at what he was doing.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So, I appreciate a sarcastic sense of humor. That makes me laugh really, like really, really hard. Another funny thing is, to me, are natural consequences. And there was just a cracked me up, like if someone’s showing off trying to do something and they’re like, Hey, Hey, Hey look what I can do. And you can’t do this. Ooh. And then they fall; that’s funny as long as they’re okay. But you know what I mean? Like that-
Ron Reigns:
Right. But at the moment, it is funny. Okay. Very good.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. Yeah. Do you love or hate roller coasters?
Ron Reigns:
Love them. I love roller coasters. I don’t go on them nearly enough, but every time I do, I have a blast and want to get back on.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Really?
Ron Reigns:
Yeah. How about you? Love or hate rollercoasters?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Hate them. I am the best person in the world to go to the amusement parks with because I was always the one that would happily stay with the stroller or the youngest child. And I was thrilled. So I would, because we had so many kids, I would always take the youngest ones and go to the baby park. I’m thrilled because I don’t have to go on those rides. And then whoever I’m with can take the older kids and go to the roller coasters. No, they make me nauseous, and I’m convinced I will have a heart attack on them.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. So when it comes to rollercoasters or rides in general, is that all? Can you get on a Ferris wheel?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. I can get on a Ferris wheel. I also don’t mind, and I actually like the rides at Disneyland where you’re on like the little boat, and there’s like a foot of water, and it’s taking you down, and then it goes down a little hill, and you get a little wet, those are fine.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
But-
Ron Reigns:
Actual rollercoasters, that’s different.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
That is different. Now that’s, I used to love SeaWorld before the blackfish story came out and all that, but a funny thing is back then, they didn’t have rides. They do now at SeaWorld, but they didn’t have them back then. And when I was, I think, eight, we were living in the Midwest, and there was one in the Midwest. And have you ever been to SeaWorld?
Ron Reigns:
Yes, absolutely.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Do you remember the petting pool where you reached your hand and could pet the dolphin? There are like dolphins in there?
Ron Reigns:
I don’t. I don’t.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
You get fish from them. You spend so much money, and they gave you this little paper tray, and you-
Ron Reigns:
Okay. Well, I ran out of fish. And so what do you do when you’re eight nine? You stick your hand in because you still want to touch them.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right.
Ron Reigns:
And your hands smell like fish.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So the dolphin bites me.
Ron Reigns:
I thought he was getting fed and it was-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Now, mind you, it didn’t break the skin. It genuinely thought it was taking fish.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I’m hysterical. I got to ride in the golf cart to the infirmary because now SeaWorld is thinking, oh, we’re getting sued because she just got bit. And not only did I scare SeaWorld, but everybody else at the pool, like backing up from the dolphin. And it was, yeah. So I don’t stick my hands in those anymore. I learned how to, yeah, I’m good. So I don’t do that or roller coasters.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. Fire away.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Here’s a fun one. What is your biggest fear, and what irrational fear do you have?
Ron Reigns:
I have tons of irrational fears. Anything, I fear anything living. That’s not human. Bugs, spiders, snakes. I don’t care if they’re good bugs or nasty bugs, good snakes. But I think my biggest fear, despite all of that, is public speaking.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Really?
Ron Reigns:
Absolutely. Public-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And you work in radio.
Ron Reigns:
That’s not public speaking. That’s talking into a microphone, much like we’re doing now. And that doesn’t bother me. Now, when I’m talking in front of a crowd, that’s the difference.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Really?
Ron Reigns:
We used to do public appearances. We would do remotes at car dealerships. We did one; oh my gosh, this was the worst. We did a chamber of commerce event for the city of Prescott. And we had to come up with comedy routines that would go between the speakers. These were all solemn speeches that they were making. And we’re doing this goofy shtick. And it was horrifying. Nobody was enjoying it. They’re like get to the next speaker, get. It wasn’t enjoyable. And so, yeah. And obviously, that didn’t help my fear of public speaking.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So what irrational fears do you have? Was that everything that living?
Ron Reigns:
I would say, yeah. Anything that’s not human. Okay. Maybe I like dogs and stuff like that, but small things, things that are minor bugs, any kind of bug. I hate it. I don’t want it near me. It could be one of these doodle bugs or a ladybug. I don’t care. I don’t like bugs or living things.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Who’s the bug killer in your house? Is it you? Or is it your wife?
Ron Reigns:
It’s me because I will kill the bugs. That’s how much I don’t like them. And so Lisa is afraid of them in a different way. She wants to run away and have me kill it. And I have no compunction about killing bugs because I want them all dead. And I know that’s horrible, but if I don’t see them, I’m good. And so-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
All right.
Ron Reigns:
Stay hidden, bugs. How about three interesting facts about yourself that people don’t know?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
First fun fact, my adopted brother, the brother I grew up with, was a sponsored; I don’t know if you’d call it a semi or professional, semi-professional, professional surfer. And it’s fantastic. That’s what he’s done since I think he was 14, but he went on tours and would go down to the valley and everywhere, Costa Rica, and surf in competitions and stuff like that. So there’s something. I can see A talent that I have.
Ron Reigns:
Sure. Yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What I find impressive, I don’t know if anybody else does, but I find it impressive is if I’m blindfolded, I can tell you which frosting is red by the taste and the smell. I have to taste it. I have to taste it, but I can tell you as I’m smelling it.
Ron Reigns:
Only the red.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah.
Ron Reigns:
You can’t do any other colors.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Mm-mm (negative) No.
Ron Reigns:
I can be looking at the frosting and not tell you it’s red because another interesting, not-so-interesting fact about me is I’m color blind. So, you’re two up on me on that one. That’s impressive
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And you know what? When I was tested last because the people are like, oh no, you’re playing. And I’m like, no, I’m not. It was funny because they fed me a piece and sent me a couple of different ones because they wanted me to tell them which one had red in it. And I had picked out the one, but I said it’s not just red, it’s not. And when I pulled off the mask, they were just staring at me because there had been some white mixed into it, I guess, like in the side. So it wasn’t red. But then my, she’s now 15, daughter had a severe food allergy to red food dye. So there must be something-
Ron Reigns:
That connects that. Interesting. Okay. That’s fascinating.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. Third fun fact. I love pets. So growing up, I had everything from rats that had babies to salamander-like newts, like the water newts, two turtles, two bunnies, and two hamsters. My kids had a Guinea pig. My parents had birds. I was really into animals and fish, and to this day, I would love to have just about every pet imaginable. When my oldest daughter was younger, she had sugar gliders, and I loved those. Now they smelled horrific.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I think my daughter’s cat smell sometimes. This is like, but they are. Have you ever seen a sugar glider?
Ron Reigns:
I’ve heard of them. I don’t even know what they are.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It kind of looks like a bat, almost if you will. It’s like the glide. So what she would do is she was a teenager, and she would, at one point, we had three. She would open up the cage cause they sleep; they’re nocturnal. So at night, she’d let them run all over her room. And then if she put her hand up, they would jump to her hand, crawl on her shoulder, and like to play with her hair, just like stroke her hair.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They would reach their little hands down into her soda, lick it fast, and stick their hand back down. It was so cute.
Ron Reigns:
I’m getting chills just hearing this but go ahead.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
No, I love them. And I would always check on them, like if she was at camp or something, because I was always worried. So they sleep in like a pouch because they are marsupials. So they sleep in this little pouch in their cage hanging from the top. And I remember peeking in there, ensuring they’re all still alive and everybody’s good. And what these animals do, if you’re upsetting them, is they will take their feces and throw it at you.
Ron Reigns:
That is-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So when I woke it up, it got mad, and it started throwing poop at me. And they’re little; they’re little. Also, if you feed them something they don’t like, they will throw it back at you. So we tried to feed them like little green peas, but they didn’t like those. And they would destroy those out of the cage. They won’t even keep them in their cage. They will take them all and just throw them out. I found them hilarious. I love pets, anything and everything.
Ron Reigns:
Wow. That is the most thing I’ve ever heard. Little animals that can fly.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They don’t fly.
Ron Reigns:
They smell horrible.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They don’t fly.
Ron Reigns:
Oh, they glide,
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They glide.
Ron Reigns:
They smell horrible. And they throw food and poop at you.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah.
Ron Reigns:
That is unbelievable. Okay. Your turn, what do you got?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What are your hobbies?
Ron Reigns:
One of my hobbies is doing this podcast because I love recording. I love talking, communicating with people, thinking that my voice is reaching somebody, and maybe they’ll get some information out of it, or they’ll chuckle or whatever. That’s something I love to do. I don’t do it as much as I should, but I want to do one of these with my son once this coronavirus thing ends. I love watching movies, and I love listening to podcasts. Those are probably my three biggest hobbies, the things I do the most. What is your favorite book to read? I guess, as opposed to books to throw? I don’t know why it’s worded that way, but okay. What is your favorite book to read?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Growing up, it was the Flowers in the Attic, VC Andrews series. Do you remember those?
Ron Reigns:
I’ve heard of them. I know about them. I never read them. They weren’t written for people like me, but I’ve heard of them.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Okay. I would say as an adult, probably biographies.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. That’s good.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I love to learn about other people’s lives.
Ron Reigns:
What are some that you’ve read that stand out to you?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Harriet Tubman’s, all of the stories behind Laura Ingalls Wilder. I started reading, recently John McCain’s Steven Tyler. That was fascinating.
Ron Reigns:
I bet. Cool.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Fascinating. Yeah. So anything, anything, and everything. People who’ve done something significant. I’m interested, so
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What did you want to be when you were small?
Ron Reigns:
I have to say a morning show co-host or host since I was in seventh grade, and I would listen to the morning shows on the radio on the way to school and things like that. I thought that was the job I wanted to do. And eventually, I got there. So, that was kind of cool.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Good for you. All right. So let’s pick the last ones. You pick one, and I’ll pick one.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. How would your friends describe you?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Busy, loyal, dedicated, caring, and busy.
Ron Reigns:
Fair enough. That’s good.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Seven kids and a job, and yeah. Yeah.
Ron Reigns:
Busy gets noted twice. Fair enough.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Busy. Yeah. Yeah. What will you be doing ten years from now?
Ron Reigns:
I believe I’ll still be obviously because the firm is Lisa’s in mind. We
built it together, so I’ll still be doing that, but I hope to do Branching out more with podcasting. So, hopefully, we’ll continue to do this one, and I’d like to produce maybe and do more podcasts myself or do it for other people so that I can continue communicating with people.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Sure. Growing, improving, I get it. We all know it’s your craft, hobby, and passion. And the only way to do that is to keep going forward. Yeah, I can see that for you. I can see it. I have always hoped that one of the results of this podcast would be that somebody would discover you, I guess. And it can’t be too big of a thing, though, because I still need you here, but you know what I mean, to where you could fulfill that. So, all right. Hopefully, everybody got to know us a little better, and this was a fun podcast to listen to.
Ron Reigns:
And if anybody has questions, they want to ask us, whether it be about adoption or just about who we are, go ahead and shoot them over. That would be fun.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. We’d love to see it.
Ron Reigns:
Thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption. Suppose you’re listening and dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption. Building Arizona Families as a local Arizona adoption agency and available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112 6 2 3 6 9 5 4 1 1 2. We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona adoption plan, or just get you more information. You can also find more information about building Arizona families on their website @azpregnancyhelp.com. Thanks also to Grapes for allowing us to use their song, I Don’t Know, as our theme song. Birth Mother Matters in Adoption was written and produced by Kelly Rourke-Scarry and edited by me. Please rate and review this podcast wherever you’re listening to us. We’d appreciate it. We also now have a website at birthmothermatterspodcast.com. Tune in next time on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption for Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m Ron Reigns. nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.
Ron Reigns:
Welcome. And thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption with Kelly Rourke-Scarry and me, Ron Reigns, where we delve into adoption issues from every angle of the adoption triad.
Speaker 2:
Do what’s best for your kid and yourself because if you can’t take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of that kid. And that’s not fair.
Speaker 3:
I know that my daughter would be well taken care of with them.
Speaker 4:
Don’t have an abortion. Give this child a chance.
Speaker 5:
All I could think about was needing to save my son.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My name is Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m the executive director, president, and co-founder of Building Arizona Families adoption agency, the Donna K. Evans foundation, and creator of the You Before Me campaign; I have a bachelor’s degree in family studies and human development and a master’s degree in education with an emphasis in school counseling. I was adopted at three days, born to a teen birth mother, raised in a closed adoption, and reunited with my birth mother in 2007. I have worked in the adoption field for over 15 years.
Ron Reigns:
And I’m Ron Reigns. I’ve worked in radio since 1999. I was the co-host of two successful morning shows in Prescott, Arizona. Now I work for my wife, an adoption attorney, and I can combine these two great passions and share them on this podcast.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Getting to know you, I thought after listeners that have been with us for all these months hear bits and pieces of our lives as we interject them intermittently throughout the podcast that it might be fun to take one podcast and get to know more about us on a personal level and find out what, through our lives, has influenced our opinions, our decisions, how we relate to things, where we’re coming from. So if you know where someone’s coming from, you have a better idea of where they’re going. And I think that some of the answers may surprise our listeners, and they may even surprise you and me.
Ron Reigns:
Very well could. I’ve been looking forward to this one. I think this is an excellent idea, a chance for them to get to know us. It’s a little lighter than the other stuff we’ve tackled. And so I hope everybody enjoys it.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah, I think so. And I think one thing that you and I don’t always bring up in podcasts, and I’m not even aware brought it up, is we’ve talked about me being adopted, and you have a radio history and are married to an adoption attorney. Have we ever talked about the fact that I’m married to your wife’s brother?
Ron Reigns:
I think it’s come up several times, but we haven’t gotten in-depth. So yeah, we are technically related, not by blood, but by marriage. And so, yeah. You’re my sister-in-law.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. So let’s go through some questions that I thought would be fun. And what I thought would be an excellent way to do it is we go back and forth, and you can pick the question, and then I will pick up a question. And so I’m not necessarily going to ask or answer the same questions as you, so let’s have fun with it.
Ron Reigns:
That’s fair. That’s fair. Sure. Who’s your hero? I like that one.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My hero. Harriet Tubman.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I have been fascinated with her since I was a petite girl. And whenever one of our children comes and has to do a project on somebody, our daughter, Sage, just did this past year and came to me and said, well, who should I pick? And I can’t tell you how fast I clicked on Amazon Harriet Tubman and bought the book, gave it to her, and said this. So definitely Harriet Tubman, because I think she was somebody I would like to be.
Ron Reigns:
I like it. Your turn.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
All right, we’ll start with something kind of fun. What mistake do you keep making again and again?
Ron Reigns:
Because I read through these questions last night, it was tough for me to even think of an answer. But I think the best answer I could give is not remembering names. I am horrible with names, and no matter how hard I try, I always, I just did it yesterday. I was talking to Lisa’s other sister, and I asked her what her neighbor’s name was because I had seen them out in the driveway, and then I think she said Justin, but I think I’d already forgotten. I’m not positive his name is Justin. It might be Joshua. Ah, it doesn’t matter.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Hey you, it works well.
Ron Reigns:
Right. Hey, how’s it going, buddy? Pal. Captain.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yep.
Ron Reigns:
All right. Let’s see. Let’s go to another one. Let’s see. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Oh, this is a straightforward one. A retirement fund.
Ron Reigns:
That was my exact answer. Saving money, putting money away because they say, oh, if you put away 2 cents a day for your entire life to be a billionaire, so-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right, that’s what everybody has told me my entire life. And unfortunately
I’m the type of person that likes to live in the moment. And I am not a squirrel. So
Ron Reigns:
It was probably when you were younger, like me, like, I’ll do it next month.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Tomorrow. It’s all good.
Ron Reigns:
Yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What is something that you think everybody should do once in their life?
Ron Reigns:
Oh, hmm. Once in their life. Ah, there are so many things. You could go the whole fall in love kind of thing. I think everybody should love somebody unconditionally. I don’t know because I’ve done so little in my life. I guess, okay. So my advice to somebody, like for instance, my son. I would say do something you’re passionate about. You may never make money at it. You may never succeed at it, but I did it with radio because that was something I had loved since I was a little kid, and getting into that when I was about 30, really changed my perspective on, wow, you got to seize the moment and grab something that you could miss, and you will regret later. And I think he’s done a little that; he was in a band for a while, and he’s done a little traveling and gone on a cruise with a girlfriend. And so he started to do some of that stuff, and I want him to keep doing those things and not letting them pass.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Good advice. On that note, there was an article that I just received. It was an interview with Jeff Bezos or Bezos-
Ron Reigns:
Bezos, yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Who was talking about the rules to live by? And he said one of the things is that it is worse to have regrets over what you didn’t do in life than what you did and then regret what you did. So, in other words, safely jump off the cliff.
Ron Reigns:
Right. Never trying is worse than trying and failing, for instance.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. Right. Just try the cliff, and I say that because people are like, oh no, I’m afraid to do that. And I would be too, but if it’s safe and it’s checked out, and it’s deep, and there’s no danger-
Ron Reigns:
Right. Yeah. I’ve always said I’d love to go skydiving. I don’t know if I would do it now, but I think that it would be fun. Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It terrifies me.
Ron Reigns:
What would you change about yourself if you could?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I am not the best at thinking before I talk. So my mind moves very quickly, and because it moves so quickly, sometimes I say things before thinking about how they will come out. And some people find it kind of funny alongside me, but I think I have generally said some things that were offensive or that I wished I hadn’t said that way afterward. So I would like to be able to pause and then say something. Whereas I speak, my biological mother and my biological brother do the same thing. They are who they are. There’s nothing fake or fictitious whatsoever, and they’re genuine and don’t hide anything; they’re not trying to appease somebody. They’re just answering. And I think that sometimes it, [inaudible 00:08:41] worth an extra second to ensure you phrase something correctly. And I want to make sure I would like to be able to do that better.
Ron Reigns:
That’s fair. Good answer.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. What makes you laugh the most?
Ron Reigns:
It’s a toss-up between wit, something that’s cleverly worded, or somebody who’s very witty. I love that, but I also love something that is exceptionally goofy. The thing that comes to mind would be Napoleon Dynamite, where it’s not precisely a funny movie, but it’s hilarious. So those two things get to me.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Okay.
Ron Reigns:
All right. Do you like or dislike surprises?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Dislike. I guess I have a control complex, and I don’t like not being in control. So, in other words, I’m not somebody who likes to consume a lot of alcoholic beverages, and I never experimented with drugs and stuff like that because I was not too fond of it; I wanted to ensure I was always in control of what I was doing. And so, when I’m caught off guard, it makes me feel unsafe. I wouldn’t say I like surprises.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What are three interesting facts about you?
Ron Reigns:
We’ve mentioned it on the show, but I am legally blind. And so I think that’s interesting, but also that despite being legally blind, I’ve worked my entire life since I was 18 years old at different jobs. I’ve installed the carpet. I’ve been a teacher’s aide in a particular ed class. I’ve been on the radio, which I love doing. I’ve been working in the adoption field, helping Lisa with the firm or our law firm. So I’ve always, despite that, stayed busy with things. And then let’s see the third fact. I own a members-only jacket to this day. Like this in Phoenix, you can borrow it sometime when it’s not so hot. Other than necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Diet Dr. Pepper.
Ron Reigns:
That’s an honest answer.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Simple and fast.
Ron Reigns:
That is entirely fair because, with me, it’s regular Dr. Pepper. Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What is your all time, and you have to pick one?
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Favorite movie.
Ron Reigns:
I knew you were going to do this one, and it’s so tough because I love movies, and there are different movies I like at different times. I’m going to go recent, at least for this particular time; my favorite movie and the one I can watch over and over without getting tired of is Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Oh, I’ve never seen it.
Ron Reigns:
Yeah. I love that movie. I think it’s my favorite Quentin Tarantino movie.
Ron Reigns:
All right. What is the most daring thing that you’ve ever done?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
When I was 18, one of my best friends at the time, Bobby Kesselman, a comedian who does voiceovers for some TV shows, and he and I both wanted to break into the entertainment industry. And so actually I think we were younger than that. I think we’re about 17, maybe even 16. And our parents let us miss a day of school, go up to Los Angeles, California, and be extras on a movie they were filming. And in today’s day and age, we do things very differently. But then, Bobby and I were put in his car with somebody we had no idea who it was. And they drove us up to the stage, the soundstage, and where they were filming, which was actually at an airport in Los Angeles.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And neither one of us had ever been on a set like that before. And they had us bring extra clothes because they wanted to ensure we were in clothes. We were supposed to be like people in the airport. Ever since I was nine, I have had a massive crush on John Schneider from the Dukes, one of the movie’s leading stars.
Ron Reigns:
So this was a massive blockbuster.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
No. No.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. So-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And right to VHS, let’s put it that way.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It was called Ministry of Vengeance and with Apollonia, remember from
the Prince video.
Ron Reigns:
I do remember Apollonia.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Okay. So we’re there, and it’s a long day, and I’m looking at John Schneider and they have him kind of like sectioned off from the extras. And I looked at Bobby, and I said, this is my shot. I got to go over there. And he looks at me, and he’s like, do it.
Ron Reigns:
Yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So I did. So I walked over and smiled at him, and I remember thinking, okay, I have to talk, or he’s going to think of something wrong with me. And so I said, I’m sorry. I just, I had to come over and meet you. And he puts both hands on my cheeks and says, it’s freezing here.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Isn’t it? And I think, I hope I wasn’t drooling. And I remember nodding and saying yes and then telling them how nice it was to meet him. And then I walked back over to Bobby. Bobby is now killed over laughing. And he said you’re never going to rewash your face. And I said never, but I have since. That was pretty brave. That was pretty brave because I went underneath the tape, and I went right up to the I have belted out songs with him on that radio, are we on the radio, when he used to have them and on his records and I’m telling you, I was all in.
Ron Reigns:
You were starstruck.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
There you go.
Ron Reigns:
Awesome.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What is the most annoying habit other people have?
Ron Reigns:
I generally don’t get annoyed by people. I know my mom hated when we would click our gum, as she said when we chew gum. Even that doesn’t bother me; sounds don’t bother me. I guess just rudeness. There you go. People are being rude to each other and not giving each other a little respect. All right. What question would you most like the answer to?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What question would I ask? Oh, I know the answer to this one. How we have done things like landed on the moon and done all of these fantastic things, and we don’t have a cure for the common cold.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. That’s why something so basic has alluded to us all these years.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Every time one of my children or I get sick. I asked the same question. How do we not have the cure?
Ron Reigns:
Right. Okay. Good one.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What would it be if you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life?
Ron Reigns:
Steak.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Just steak?
Ron Reigns:
Anything on the side is fine. It could be potatoes. It could be broccoli, cauliflower, whatever. I don’t have a choice on that. I’ll eat whatever side dish you’ve got. It could be tater tots. Steak and tater tots. There you go. I just, there’s my meal.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Perfect.
Ron Reigns:
What makes you laugh the most?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Sarcasm. Also, when common mistakes are made like I was that obnoxious kid in school when a teacher would be writing back then with chalk and the chocolate break, I’d be the one that would be laughing. Or when the one kid was being naughty in the classroom, we both got in trouble because I’d be laughing at what he was doing.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So, I appreciate a sarcastic sense of humor. That makes me laugh really, like really, really hard. Another funny thing is, to me, are natural consequences. And there was just a cracked me up, like if someone’s showing off trying to do something and they’re like, Hey, Hey, Hey look what I can do. And you can’t do this. Ooh. And then they fall; that’s funny as long as they’re okay. But you know what I mean? Like that-
Ron Reigns:
Right. But at the moment, it is funny. Okay. Very good.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. Yeah. Do you love or hate roller coasters?
Ron Reigns:
Love them. I love roller coasters. I don’t go on them nearly enough, but every time I do, I have a blast and want to get back on.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Really?
Ron Reigns:
Yeah. How about you? Love or hate rollercoasters?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Hate them. I am the best person in the world to go to the amusement parks with because I was always the one that would happily stay with the stroller or the youngest child. And I was thrilled. So I would, because we had so many kids, I would always take the youngest ones and go to the baby park. I’m thrilled because I don’t have to go on those rides. And then whoever I’m with can take the older kids and go to the roller coasters. No, they make me nauseous, and I’m convinced I will have a heart attack on them.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. So when it comes to rollercoasters or rides in general, is that all? Can you get on a Ferris wheel?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. I can get on a Ferris wheel. I also don’t mind, and I actually like the rides at Disneyland where you’re on like the little boat, and there’s like a foot of water, and it’s taking you down, and then it goes down a little hill, and you get a little wet, those are fine.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
But-
Ron Reigns:
Actual rollercoasters, that’s different.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
That is different. Now that’s, I used to love SeaWorld before the blackfish story came out and all that, but a funny thing is back then, they didn’t have rides. They do now at SeaWorld, but they didn’t have them back then. And when I was, I think, eight, we were living in the Midwest, and there was one in the Midwest. And have you ever been to SeaWorld?
Ron Reigns:
Yes, absolutely.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Do you remember the petting pool where you reached your hand and could pet the dolphin? There are like dolphins in there?
Ron Reigns:
I don’t. I don’t.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
You get fish from them. You spend so much money, and they gave you this little paper tray, and you-
Ron Reigns:
Okay. Well, I ran out of fish. And so what do you do when you’re eight nine? You stick your hand in because you still want to touch them.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right.
Ron Reigns:
And your hands smell like fish.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So the dolphin bites me.
Ron Reigns:
I thought he was getting fed and it was-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Now, mind you, it didn’t break the skin. It genuinely thought it was taking fish.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I’m hysterical. I got to ride in the golf cart to the infirmary because now SeaWorld is thinking, oh, we’re getting sued because she just got bit. And not only did I scare SeaWorld, but everybody else at the pool, like backing up from the dolphin. And it was, yeah. So I don’t stick my hands in those anymore. I learned how to, yeah, I’m good. So I don’t do that or roller coasters.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. Fire away.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Here’s a fun one. What is your biggest fear, and what irrational fear do you have?
Ron Reigns:
I have tons of irrational fears. Anything, I fear anything living. That’s not human. Bugs, spiders, snakes. I don’t care if they’re good bugs or nasty bugs, good snakes. But I think my biggest fear, despite all of that, is public speaking.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Really?
Ron Reigns:
Absolutely. Public-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And you work in radio.
Ron Reigns:
That’s not public speaking. That’s talking into a microphone, much like we’re doing now. And that doesn’t bother me. Now, when I’m talking in front of a crowd, that’s the difference.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Really?
Ron Reigns:
We used to do public appearances. We would do remotes at car dealerships. We did one; oh my gosh, this was the worst. We did a chamber of commerce event for the city of Prescott. And we had to come up with comedy routines that would go between the speakers. These were all solemn speeches that they were making. And we’re doing this goofy shtick. And it was horrifying. Nobody was enjoying it. They’re like get to the next speaker, get. It wasn’t enjoyable. And so, yeah. And obviously, that didn’t help my fear of public speaking.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So what irrational fears do you have? Was that everything that living?
Ron Reigns:
I would say, yeah. Anything that’s not human. Okay. Maybe I like dogs and stuff like that, but small things, things that are minor bugs, any kind of bug. I hate it. I don’t want it near me. It could be one of these doodle bugs or a ladybug. I don’t care. I don’t like bugs or living things.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Who’s the bug killer in your house? Is it you? Or is it your wife?
Ron Reigns:
It’s me because I will kill the bugs. That’s how much I don’t like them. And so Lisa is afraid of them in a different way. She wants to run away and have me kill it. And I have no compunction about killing bugs because I want them all dead. And I know that’s horrible, but if I don’t see them, I’m good. And so-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
All right.
Ron Reigns:
Stay hidden, bugs. How about three interesting facts about yourself that people don’t know?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
First fun fact, my adopted brother, the brother I grew up with, was a sponsored; I don’t know if you’d call it a semi or professional, semi-professional, professional surfer. And it’s fantastic. That’s what he’s done since I think he was 14, but he went on tours and would go down to the valley and everywhere, Costa Rica, and surf in competitions and stuff like that. So there’s something. I can see A talent that I have.
Ron Reigns:
Sure. Yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What I find impressive, I don’t know if anybody else does, but I find it impressive is if I’m blindfolded, I can tell you which frosting is red by the taste and the smell. I have to taste it. I have to taste it, but I can tell you as I’m smelling it.
Ron Reigns:
Only the red.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah.
Ron Reigns:
You can’t do any other colors.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Mm-mm (negative) No.
Ron Reigns:
I can be looking at the frosting and not tell you it’s red because another interesting, not-so-interesting fact about me is I’m color blind. So, you’re two up on me on that one. That’s impressive
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And you know what? When I was tested last because the people are like, oh no, you’re playing. And I’m like, no, I’m not. It was funny because they fed me a piece and sent me a couple of different ones because they wanted me to tell them which one had red in it. And I had picked out the one, but I said it’s not just red, it’s not. And when I pulled off the mask, they were just staring at me because there had been some white mixed into it, I guess, like in the side. So it wasn’t red. But then my, she’s now 15, daughter had a severe food allergy to red food dye. So there must be something-
Ron Reigns:
That connects that. Interesting. Okay. That’s fascinating.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. Third fun fact. I love pets. So growing up, I had everything from rats that had babies to salamander-like newts, like the water newts, two turtles, two bunnies, and two hamsters. My kids had a Guinea pig. My parents had birds. I was really into animals and fish, and to this day, I would love to have just about every pet imaginable. When my oldest daughter was younger, she had sugar gliders, and I loved those. Now they smelled horrific.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I think my daughter’s cat smell sometimes. This is like, but they are. Have you ever seen a sugar glider?
Ron Reigns:
I’ve heard of them. I don’t even know what they are.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It kind of looks like a bat, almost if you will. It’s like the glide. So what she would do is she was a teenager, and she would, at one point, we had three. She would open up the cage cause they sleep; they’re nocturnal. So at night, she’d let them run all over her room. And then if she put her hand up, they would jump to her hand, crawl on her shoulder, and like to play with her hair, just like stroke her hair.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They would reach their little hands down into her soda, lick it fast, and stick their hand back down. It was so cute.
Ron Reigns:
I’m getting chills just hearing this but go ahead.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
No, I love them. And I would always check on them, like if she was at camp or something, because I was always worried. So they sleep in like a pouch because they are marsupials. So they sleep in this little pouch in their cage hanging from the top. And I remember peeking in there, ensuring they’re all still alive and everybody’s good. And what these animals do, if you’re upsetting them, is they will take their feces and throw it at you.
Ron Reigns:
That is-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So when I woke it up, it got mad, and it started throwing poop at me. And they’re little; they’re little. Also, if you feed them something they don’t like, they will throw it back at you. So we tried to feed them like little green peas, but they didn’t like those. And they would destroy those out of the cage. They won’t even keep them in their cage. They will take them all and just throw them out. I found them hilarious. I love pets, anything and everything.
Ron Reigns:
Wow. That is the most thing I’ve ever heard. Little animals that can fly.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They don’t fly.
Ron Reigns:
They smell horrible.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They don’t fly.
Ron Reigns:
Oh, they glide,
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They glide.
Ron Reigns:
They smell horrible. And they throw food and poop at you.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah.
Ron Reigns:
That is unbelievable. Okay. Your turn, what do you got?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What are your hobbies?
Ron Reigns:
One of my hobbies is doing this podcast because I love recording. I love talking, communicating with people, thinking that my voice is reaching somebody, and maybe they’ll get some information out of it, or they’ll chuckle or whatever. That’s something I love to do. I don’t do it as much as I should, but I want to do one of these with my son once this coronavirus thing ends. I love watching movies, and I love listening to podcasts. Those are probably my three biggest hobbies, the things I do the most. What is your favorite book to read? I guess, as opposed to books to throw? I don’t know why it’s worded that way, but okay. What is your favorite book to read?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Growing up, it was the Flowers in the Attic, VC Andrews series. Do you remember those?
Ron Reigns:
I’ve heard of them. I know about them. I never read them. They weren’t written for people like me, but I’ve heard of them.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Okay. I would say as an adult, probably biographies.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. That’s good.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I love to learn about other people’s lives.
Ron Reigns:
What are some that you’ve read that stand out to you?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Harriet Tubman’s, all of the stories behind Laura Ingalls Wilder. I started reading, recently John McCain’s Steven Tyler. That was fascinating.
Ron Reigns:
I bet. Cool.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Fascinating. Yeah. So anything, anything, and everything. People who’ve done something significant. I’m interested, so
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What did you want to be when you were small?
Ron Reigns:
I have to say a morning show co-host or host since I was in seventh grade, and I would listen to the morning shows on the radio on the way to school and things like that. I thought that was the job I wanted to do. And eventually, I got there. So, that was kind of cool.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Good for you. All right. So let’s pick the last ones. You pick one, and I’ll pick one.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. How would your friends describe you?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Busy, loyal, dedicated, caring, and busy.
Ron Reigns:
Fair enough. That’s good.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Seven kids and a job, and yeah. Yeah.
Ron Reigns:
Busy gets noted twice. Fair enough.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Busy. Yeah. Yeah. What will you be doing ten years from now?
Ron Reigns:
I believe I’ll still be obviously because the firm is Lisa’s in mind. We
built it together, so I’ll still be doing that, but I hope to do Branching out more with podcasting. So, hopefully, we’ll continue to do this one, and I’d like to produce maybe and do more podcasts myself or do it for other people so that I can continue communicating with people.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Sure. Growing, improving, I get it. We all know it’s your craft, hobby, and passion. And the only way to do that is to keep going forward. Yeah, I can see that for you. I can see it. I have always hoped that one of the results of this podcast would be that somebody would discover you, I guess. And it can’t be too big of a thing, though, because I still need you here, but you know what I mean, to where you could fulfill that. So, all right. Hopefully, everybody got to know us a little better, and this was a fun podcast to listen to.
Ron Reigns:
And if anybody has questions, they want to ask us, whether it be about adoption or just about who we are, go ahead and shoot them over. That would be fun.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. We’d love to see it.
Ron Reigns:
Thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption. Suppose you’re listening and dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption. Building Arizona Families as a local Arizona adoption agency and available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112 6 2 3 6 9 5 4 1 1 2. We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona adoption plan, or just get you more information. You can also find more information about building Arizona families on their website @azpregnancyhelp.com. Thanks also to Grapes for allowing us to use their song, I Don’t Know, as our theme song. Birth Mother Matters in Adoption was written and produced by Kelly Rourke-Scarry and edited by me. Please rate and review this podcast wherever you’re listening to us. We’d appreciate it. We also now have a website at birthmothermatterspodcast.com. Tune in next time on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption for Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m Ron Reigns.
Ron Reigns:
Welcome. And thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption with Kelly Rourke-Scarry and me, Ron Reigns, where we delve into adoption issues from every angle of the adoption triad.
Speaker 2:
Do what’s best for your kid and yourself because if you can’t take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of that kid. And that’s not fair.
Speaker 3:
I know that my daughter would be well taken care of with them.
Speaker 4:
Don’t have an abortion. Give this child a chance.
Speaker 5:
All I could think about was needing to save my son.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My name is Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m the executive director, president, and co-founder of Building Arizona Families adoption agency, the Donna K. Evans foundation, and creator of the You Before Me campaign; I have a bachelor’s degree in family studies and human development and a master’s degree in education with an emphasis in school counseling. I was adopted at three days, born to a teen birth mother, raised in a closed adoption, and reunited with my birth mother in 2007. I have worked in the adoption field for over 15 years.
Ron Reigns:
And I’m Ron Reigns. I’ve worked in radio since 1999. I was the co-host of two successful morning shows in Prescott, Arizona. Now I work for my wife, an adoption attorney, and I can combine these two great passions and share them on this podcast.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Getting to know you, I thought after listeners that have been with us for all these months hear bits and pieces of our lives as we interject them intermittently throughout the podcast that it might be fun to take one podcast and get to know more about us on a personal level and find out what, through our lives, has influenced our opinions, our decisions, how we relate to things, where we’re coming from. So if you know where someone’s coming from, you have a better idea of where they’re going. And I think that some of the answers may surprise our listeners, and they may even surprise you and me.
Ron Reigns:
Very well could. I’ve been looking forward to this one. I think this is an excellent idea, a chance for them to get to know us. It’s a little lighter than the other stuff we’ve tackled. And so I hope everybody enjoys it.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah, I think so. And I think one thing that you and I don’t always bring up in podcasts, and I’m not even aware brought it up, is we’ve talked about me being adopted, and you have a radio history and are married to an adoption attorney. Have we ever talked about the fact that I’m married to your wife’s brother?
Ron Reigns:
I think it’s come up several times, but we haven’t gotten in-depth. So yeah, we are technically related, not by blood, but by marriage. And so, yeah. You’re my sister-in-law.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. So let’s go through some questions that I thought would be fun. And what I thought would be an excellent way to do it is we go back and forth, and you can pick the question, and then I will pick up a question. And so I’m not necessarily going to ask or answer the same questions as you, so let’s have fun with it.
Ron Reigns:
That’s fair. That’s fair. Sure. Who’s your hero? I like that one.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
My hero. Harriet Tubman.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I have been fascinated with her since I was a petite girl. And whenever one of our children comes and has to do a project on somebody, our daughter, Sage, just did this past year and came to me and said, well, who should I pick? And I can’t tell you how fast I clicked on Amazon Harriet Tubman and bought the book, gave it to her, and said this. So definitely Harriet Tubman, because I think she was somebody I would like to be.
Ron Reigns:
I like it. Your turn.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
All right, we’ll start with something kind of fun. What mistake do you keep making again and again?
Ron Reigns:
Because I read through these questions last night, it was tough for me to even think of an answer. But I think the best answer I could give is not remembering names. I am horrible with names, and no matter how hard I try, I always, I just did it yesterday. I was talking to Lisa’s other sister, and I asked her what her neighbor’s name was because I had seen them out in the driveway, and then I think she said Justin, but I think I’d already forgotten. I’m not positive his name is Justin. It might be Joshua. Ah, it doesn’t matter.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Hey you, it works well.
Ron Reigns:
Right. Hey, how’s it going, buddy? Pal. Captain.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yep.
Ron Reigns:
All right. Let’s see. Let’s go to another one. Let’s see. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Oh, this is a straightforward one. A retirement fund.
Ron Reigns:
That was my exact answer. Saving money, putting money away because they say, oh, if you put away 2 cents a day for your entire life to be a billionaire, so-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right, that’s what everybody has told me my entire life. And unfortunately
I’m the type of person that likes to live in the moment. And I am not a squirrel. So
Ron Reigns:
It was probably when you were younger, like me, like, I’ll do it next month.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Tomorrow. It’s all good.
Ron Reigns:
Yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What is something that you think everybody should do once in their life?
Ron Reigns:
Oh, hmm. Once in their life. Ah, there are so many things. You could go the whole fall in love kind of thing. I think everybody should love somebody unconditionally. I don’t know because I’ve done so little in my life. I guess, okay. So my advice to somebody, like for instance, my son. I would say do something you’re passionate about. You may never make money at it. You may never succeed at it, but I did it with radio because that was something I had loved since I was a little kid, and getting into that when I was about 30, really changed my perspective on, wow, you got to seize the moment and grab something that you could miss, and you will regret later. And I think he’s done a little that; he was in a band for a while, and he’s done a little traveling and gone on a cruise with a girlfriend. And so he started to do some of that stuff, and I want him to keep doing those things and not letting them pass.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Good advice. On that note, there was an article that I just received. It was an interview with Jeff Bezos or Bezos-
Ron Reigns:
Bezos, yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Who was talking about the rules to live by? And he said one of the things is that it is worse to have regrets over what you didn’t do in life than what you did and then regret what you did. So, in other words, safely jump off the cliff.
Ron Reigns:
Right. Never trying is worse than trying and failing, for instance.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. Right. Just try the cliff, and I say that because people are like, oh no, I’m afraid to do that. And I would be too, but if it’s safe and it’s checked out, and it’s deep, and there’s no danger-
Ron Reigns:
Right. Yeah. I’ve always said I’d love to go skydiving. I don’t know if I would do it now, but I think that it would be fun. Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It terrifies me.
Ron Reigns:
What would you change about yourself if you could?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I am not the best at thinking before I talk. So my mind moves very quickly, and because it moves so quickly, sometimes I say things before thinking about how they will come out. And some people find it kind of funny alongside me, but I think I have generally said some things that were offensive or that I wished I hadn’t said that way afterward. So I would like to be able to pause and then say something. Whereas I speak, my biological mother and my biological brother do the same thing. They are who they are. There’s nothing fake or fictitious whatsoever, and they’re genuine and don’t hide anything; they’re not trying to appease somebody. They’re just answering. And I think that sometimes it, [inaudible 00:08:41] worth an extra second to ensure you phrase something correctly. And I want to make sure I would like to be able to do that better.
Ron Reigns:
That’s fair. Good answer.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. What makes you laugh the most?
Ron Reigns:
It’s a toss-up between wit, something that’s cleverly worded, or somebody who’s very witty. I love that, but I also love something that is exceptionally goofy. The thing that comes to mind would be Napoleon Dynamite, where it’s not precisely a funny movie, but it’s hilarious. So those two things get to me.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Okay.
Ron Reigns:
All right. Do you like or dislike surprises?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Dislike. I guess I have a control complex, and I don’t like not being in control. So, in other words, I’m not somebody who likes to consume a lot of alcoholic beverages, and I never experimented with drugs and stuff like that because I was not too fond of it; I wanted to ensure I was always in control of what I was doing. And so, when I’m caught off guard, it makes me feel unsafe. I wouldn’t say I like surprises.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What are three interesting facts about you?
Ron Reigns:
We’ve mentioned it on the show, but I am legally blind. And so I think that’s interesting, but also that despite being legally blind, I’ve worked my entire life since I was 18 years old at different jobs. I’ve installed the carpet. I’ve been a teacher’s aide in a particular ed class. I’ve been on the radio, which I love doing. I’ve been working in the adoption field, helping Lisa with the firm or our law firm. So I’ve always, despite that, stayed busy with things. And then let’s see the third fact. I own a members-only jacket to this day. Like this in Phoenix, you can borrow it sometime when it’s not so hot. Other than necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Diet Dr. Pepper.
Ron Reigns:
That’s an honest answer.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Simple and fast.
Ron Reigns:
That is entirely fair because, with me, it’s regular Dr. Pepper. Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What is your all time, and you have to pick one?
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Favorite movie.
Ron Reigns:
I knew you were going to do this one, and it’s so tough because I love movies, and there are different movies I like at different times. I’m going to go recent, at least for this particular time; my favorite movie and the one I can watch over and over without getting tired of is Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Oh, I’ve never seen it.
Ron Reigns:
Yeah. I love that movie. I think it’s my favorite Quentin Tarantino movie.
Ron Reigns:
All right. What is the most daring thing that you’ve ever done?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
When I was 18, one of my best friends at the time, Bobby Kesselman, a comedian who does voiceovers for some TV shows, and he and I both wanted to break into the entertainment industry. And so actually I think we were younger than that. I think we’re about 17, maybe even 16. And our parents let us miss a day of school, go up to Los Angeles, California, and be extras on a movie they were filming. And in today’s day and age, we do things very differently. But then, Bobby and I were put in his car with somebody we had no idea who it was. And they drove us up to the stage, the soundstage, and where they were filming, which was actually at an airport in Los Angeles.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And neither one of us had ever been on a set like that before. And they had us bring extra clothes because they wanted to ensure we were in clothes. We were supposed to be like people in the airport. Ever since I was nine, I have had a massive crush on John Schneider from the Dukes, one of the movie’s leading stars.
Ron Reigns:
So this was a massive blockbuster.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
No. No.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. So-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And right to VHS, let’s put it that way.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It was called Ministry of Vengeance and with Apollonia, remember from
the Prince video.
Ron Reigns:
I do remember Apollonia.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Okay. So we’re there, and it’s a long day, and I’m looking at John Schneider and they have him kind of like sectioned off from the extras. And I looked at Bobby, and I said, this is my shot. I got to go over there. And he looks at me, and he’s like, do it.
Ron Reigns:
Yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So I did. So I walked over and smiled at him, and I remember thinking, okay, I have to talk, or he’s going to think of something wrong with me. And so I said, I’m sorry. I just, I had to come over and meet you. And he puts both hands on my cheeks and says, it’s freezing here.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Isn’t it? And I think, I hope I wasn’t drooling. And I remember nodding and saying yes and then telling them how nice it was to meet him. And then I walked back over to Bobby. Bobby is now killed over laughing. And he said you’re never going to rewash your face. And I said never, but I have since. That was pretty brave. That was pretty brave because I went underneath the tape, and I went right up to the I have belted out songs with him on that radio, are we on the radio, when he used to have them and on his records and I’m telling you, I was all in.
Ron Reigns:
You were starstruck.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
There you go.
Ron Reigns:
Awesome.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What is the most annoying habit other people have?
Ron Reigns:
I generally don’t get annoyed by people. I know my mom hated when we would click our gum, as she said when we chew gum. Even that doesn’t bother me; sounds don’t bother me. I guess just rudeness. There you go. People are being rude to each other and not giving each other a little respect. All right. What question would you most like the answer to?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What question would I ask? Oh, I know the answer to this one. How we have done things like landed on the moon and done all of these fantastic things, and we don’t have a cure for the common cold.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. That’s why something so basic has alluded to us all these years.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Every time one of my children or I get sick. I asked the same question. How do we not have the cure?
Ron Reigns:
Right. Okay. Good one.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What would it be if you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life?
Ron Reigns:
Steak.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Just steak?
Ron Reigns:
Anything on the side is fine. It could be potatoes. It could be broccoli, cauliflower, whatever. I don’t have a choice on that. I’ll eat whatever side dish you’ve got. It could be tater tots. Steak and tater tots. There you go. I just, there’s my meal.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Perfect.
Ron Reigns:
What makes you laugh the most?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Sarcasm. Also, when common mistakes are made like I was that obnoxious kid in school when a teacher would be writing back then with chalk and the chocolate break, I’d be the one that would be laughing. Or when the one kid was being naughty in the classroom, we both got in trouble because I’d be laughing at what he was doing.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So, I appreciate a sarcastic sense of humor. That makes me laugh really, like really, really hard. Another funny thing is, to me, are natural consequences. And there was just a cracked me up, like if someone’s showing off trying to do something and they’re like, Hey, Hey, Hey look what I can do. And you can’t do this. Ooh. And then they fall; that’s funny as long as they’re okay. But you know what I mean? Like that-
Ron Reigns:
Right. But at the moment, it is funny. Okay. Very good.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. Yeah. Do you love or hate roller coasters?
Ron Reigns:
Love them. I love roller coasters. I don’t go on them nearly enough, but every time I do, I have a blast and want to get back on.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Really?
Ron Reigns:
Yeah. How about you? Love or hate rollercoasters?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Hate them. I am the best person in the world to go to the amusement parks with because I was always the one that would happily stay with the stroller or the youngest child. And I was thrilled. So I would, because we had so many kids, I would always take the youngest ones and go to the baby park. I’m thrilled because I don’t have to go on those rides. And then whoever I’m with can take the older kids and go to the roller coasters. No, they make me nauseous, and I’m convinced I will have a heart attack on them.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. So when it comes to rollercoasters or rides in general, is that all? Can you get on a Ferris wheel?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yes. I can get on a Ferris wheel. I also don’t mind, and I actually like the rides at Disneyland where you’re on like the little boat, and there’s like a foot of water, and it’s taking you down, and then it goes down a little hill, and you get a little wet, those are fine.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
But-
Ron Reigns:
Actual rollercoasters, that’s different.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
That is different. Now that’s, I used to love SeaWorld before the blackfish story came out and all that, but a funny thing is back then, they didn’t have rides. They do now at SeaWorld, but they didn’t have them back then. And when I was, I think, eight, we were living in the Midwest, and there was one in the Midwest. And have you ever been to SeaWorld?
Ron Reigns:
Yes, absolutely.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Do you remember the petting pool where you reached your hand and could pet the dolphin? There are like dolphins in there?
Ron Reigns:
I don’t. I don’t.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
You get fish from them. You spend so much money, and they gave you this little paper tray, and you-
Ron Reigns:
Okay. Well, I ran out of fish. And so what do you do when you’re eight nine? You stick your hand in because you still want to touch them.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Right.
Ron Reigns:
And your hands smell like fish.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So the dolphin bites me.
Ron Reigns:
I thought he was getting fed and it was-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Now, mind you, it didn’t break the skin. It genuinely thought it was taking fish.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I’m hysterical. I got to ride in the golf cart to the infirmary because now SeaWorld is thinking, oh, we’re getting sued because she just got bit. And not only did I scare SeaWorld, but everybody else at the pool, like backing up from the dolphin. And it was, yeah. So I don’t stick my hands in those anymore. I learned how to, yeah, I’m good. So I don’t do that or roller coasters.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. Fire away.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Here’s a fun one. What is your biggest fear, and what irrational fear do you have?
Ron Reigns:
I have tons of irrational fears. Anything, I fear anything living. That’s not human. Bugs, spiders, snakes. I don’t care if they’re good bugs or nasty bugs, good snakes. But I think my biggest fear, despite all of that, is public speaking.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Really?
Ron Reigns:
Absolutely. Public-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And you work in radio.
Ron Reigns:
That’s not public speaking. That’s talking into a microphone, much like we’re doing now. And that doesn’t bother me. Now, when I’m talking in front of a crowd, that’s the difference.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Really?
Ron Reigns:
We used to do public appearances. We would do remotes at car dealerships. We did one; oh my gosh, this was the worst. We did a chamber of commerce event for the city of Prescott. And we had to come up with comedy routines that would go between the speakers. These were all solemn speeches that they were making. And we’re doing this goofy shtick. And it was horrifying. Nobody was enjoying it. They’re like get to the next speaker, get. It wasn’t enjoyable. And so, yeah. And obviously, that didn’t help my fear of public speaking.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So what irrational fears do you have? Was that everything that living?
Ron Reigns:
I would say, yeah. Anything that’s not human. Okay. Maybe I like dogs and stuff like that, but small things, things that are minor bugs, any kind of bug. I hate it. I don’t want it near me. It could be one of these doodle bugs or a ladybug. I don’t care. I don’t like bugs or living things.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Who’s the bug killer in your house? Is it you? Or is it your wife?
Ron Reigns:
It’s me because I will kill the bugs. That’s how much I don’t like them. And so Lisa is afraid of them in a different way. She wants to run away and have me kill it. And I have no compunction about killing bugs because I want them all dead. And I know that’s horrible, but if I don’t see them, I’m good. And so-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
All right.
Ron Reigns:
Stay hidden, bugs. How about three interesting facts about yourself that people don’t know?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
First fun fact, my adopted brother, the brother I grew up with, was a sponsored; I don’t know if you’d call it a semi or professional, semi-professional, professional surfer. And it’s fantastic. That’s what he’s done since I think he was 14, but he went on tours and would go down to the valley and everywhere, Costa Rica, and surf in competitions and stuff like that. So there’s something. I can see A talent that I have.
Ron Reigns:
Sure. Yeah.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What I find impressive, I don’t know if anybody else does, but I find it impressive is if I’m blindfolded, I can tell you which frosting is red by the taste and the smell. I have to taste it. I have to taste it, but I can tell you as I’m smelling it.
Ron Reigns:
Only the red.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah.
Ron Reigns:
You can’t do any other colors.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Mm-mm (negative) No.
Ron Reigns:
I can be looking at the frosting and not tell you it’s red because another interesting, not-so-interesting fact about me is I’m color blind. So, you’re two up on me on that one. That’s impressive
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
And you know what? When I was tested last because the people are like, oh no, you’re playing. And I’m like, no, I’m not. It was funny because they fed me a piece and sent me a couple of different ones because they wanted me to tell them which one had red in it. And I had picked out the one, but I said it’s not just red, it’s not. And when I pulled off the mask, they were just staring at me because there had been some white mixed into it, I guess, like in the side. So it wasn’t red. But then my, she’s now 15, daughter had a severe food allergy to red food dye. So there must be something-
Ron Reigns:
That connects that. Interesting. Okay. That’s fascinating.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. Third fun fact. I love pets. So growing up, I had everything from rats that had babies to salamander-like newts, like the water newts, two turtles, two bunnies, and two hamsters. My kids had a Guinea pig. My parents had birds. I was really into animals and fish, and to this day, I would love to have just about every pet imaginable. When my oldest daughter was younger, she had sugar gliders, and I loved those. Now they smelled horrific.
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I think my daughter’s cat smell sometimes. This is like, but they are. Have you ever seen a sugar glider?
Ron Reigns:
I’ve heard of them. I don’t even know what they are.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
It kind of looks like a bat, almost if you will. It’s like the glide. So what she would do is she was a teenager, and she would, at one point, we had three. She would open up the cage cause they sleep; they’re nocturnal. So at night, she’d let them run all over her room. And then if she put her hand up, they would jump to her hand, crawl on her shoulder, and like to play with her hair, just like stroke her hair.
Ron Reigns:
Right.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They would reach their little hands down into her soda, lick it fast, and stick their hand back down. It was so cute.
Ron Reigns:
I’m getting chills just hearing this but go ahead.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
No, I love them. And I would always check on them, like if she was at camp or something, because I was always worried. So they sleep in like a pouch because they are marsupials. So they sleep in this little pouch in their cage hanging from the top. And I remember peeking in there, ensuring they’re all still alive and everybody’s good. And what these animals do, if you’re upsetting them, is they will take their feces and throw it at you.
Ron Reigns:
That is-
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
So when I woke it up, it got mad, and it started throwing poop at me. And they’re little; they’re little. Also, if you feed them something they don’t like, they will throw it back at you. So we tried to feed them like little green peas, but they didn’t like those. And they would destroy those out of the cage. They won’t even keep them in their cage. They will take them all and just throw them out. I found them hilarious. I love pets, anything and everything.
Ron Reigns:
Wow. That is the most thing I’ve ever heard. Little animals that can fly.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They don’t fly.
Ron Reigns:
They smell horrible.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They don’t fly.
Ron Reigns:
Oh, they glide,
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
They glide.
Ron Reigns:
They smell horrible. And they throw food and poop at you.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah.
Ron Reigns:
That is unbelievable. Okay. Your turn, what do you got?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What are your hobbies?
Ron Reigns:
One of my hobbies is doing this podcast because I love recording. I love talking, communicating with people, thinking that my voice is reaching somebody, and maybe they’ll get some information out of it, or they’ll chuckle or whatever. That’s something I love to do. I don’t do it as much as I should, but I want to do one of these with my son once this coronavirus thing ends. I love watching movies, and I love listening to podcasts. Those are probably my three biggest hobbies, the things I do the most. What is your favorite book to read? I guess, as opposed to books to throw? I don’t know why it’s worded that way, but okay. What is your favorite book to read?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Growing up, it was the Flowers in the Attic, VC Andrews series. Do you remember those?
Ron Reigns:
I’ve heard of them. I know about them. I never read them. They weren’t written for people like me, but I’ve heard of them.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Okay. I would say as an adult, probably biographies.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. That’s good.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
I love to learn about other people’s lives.
Ron Reigns:
What are some that you’ve read that stand out to you?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Harriet Tubman’s, all of the stories behind Laura Ingalls Wilder. I started reading, recently John McCain’s Steven Tyler. That was fascinating.
Ron Reigns:
I bet. Cool.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Fascinating. Yeah. So anything, anything, and everything. People who’ve done something significant. I’m interested, so
Ron Reigns:
Okay.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
What did you want to be when you were small?
Ron Reigns:
I have to say a morning show co-host or host since I was in seventh grade, and I would listen to the morning shows on the radio on the way to school and things like that. I thought that was the job I wanted to do. And eventually, I got there. So, that was kind of cool.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Good for you. All right. So let’s pick the last ones. You pick one, and I’ll pick one.
Ron Reigns:
Okay. How would your friends describe you?
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Busy, loyal, dedicated, caring, and busy.
Ron Reigns:
Fair enough. That’s good.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Seven kids and a job, and yeah. Yeah.
Ron Reigns:
Busy gets noted twice. Fair enough.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Busy. Yeah. Yeah. What will you be doing ten years from now?
Ron Reigns:
I believe I’ll still be obviously because the firm is Lisa’s in mind. We
built it together, so I’ll still be doing that, but I hope to do Branching out more with podcasting. So, hopefully, we’ll continue to do this one, and I’d like to produce maybe and do more podcasts myself or do it for other people so that I can continue communicating with people.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Sure. Growing, improving, I get it. We all know it’s your craft, hobby, and passion. And the only way to do that is to keep going forward. Yeah, I can see that for you. I can see it. I have always hoped that one of the results of this podcast would be that somebody would discover you, I guess. And it can’t be too big of a thing, though, because I still need you here, but you know what I mean, to where you could fulfill that. So, all right. Hopefully, everybody got to know us a little better, and this was a fun podcast to listen to.
Ron Reigns:
And if anybody has questions, they want to ask us, whether it be about adoption or just about who we are, go ahead and shoot them over. That would be fun.
Kelly Rourke-Scarry:
Yeah. We’d love to see it.
Ron Reigns:
Thank you for joining us on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption. Suppose you’re listening and dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption. Building Arizona Families as a local Arizona adoption agency and available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112 6 2 3 6 9 5 4 1 1 2. We can make an immediate appointment with you to get started on creating an Arizona adoption plan, or just get you more information. You can also find more information about building Arizona families on their website @azpregnancyhelp.com. Thanks also to Grapes for allowing us to use their song, I Don’t Know, as our theme song. Birth Mother Matters in Adoption was written and produced by Kelly Rourke-Scarry and edited by me. Please rate and review this podcast wherever you’re listening to us. We’d appreciate it. We also now have a website at birthmothermatterspodcast.com. Tune in next time on Birth Mother Matters in Adoption for Kelly Rourke-Scarry. I’m Ron Reigns.